I Long To Know This World

What does it mean when someone says they are “ordinary?”  I have come to believe that once someone states they are “ordinary” they are claiming that they are not.  To me, it is an attempt to be humble.  With media today, we see a lot of great accomplishments ruined by ego.  I think humbleness is our retaliation.  It is how we prove we are different from everyone else.  It’s an odd thing, really, to say one thing and obvioulsy imply the opposite.

Humbleness is something that is admired.  We admire those celebrities who admit that they are not bigger than life, who give respect to the people who have helped them.  We want to see that celebrities are human and are like us.  It makes us feel like we can be one of them.  That’s why I think so many young artists and people claim to be “ordinary.”  Because in doing so, it credits us with the same things as people who are highly respected.

Perhaps, by claiming our humbleness we are looking for a shortcut to fame.  Afterall, we don’t want the people who discover our greatness to think we know we have it.  We want our abilities and talents to be seemless, as if they were completely natural and effortless.  If we have to prove that we work our asses off to create something good, that doesn’t really prove anything at all, does it?  But if we can make people believe that we simply exude greatness without effort, we are much more respected.  We become Legendary.

By being humble about our works implies mystery.  It is a good mysteriousness that leaves people wanting to know where it came from.  It makes people want to know what we’ve been paying attention to, where we draw our influences, so they can do the same.

By being humble, we are showing that we are good people.  Good people are the ones who deserve respect.  We have little desire to make a bad person famous.

I have said before that I am a pretentious jerk, and have no reason to be.  I say that partly because of my natural habit of rebellion.  But really, I’m just trying to prove that I’m different.  I guess I’m just as ordinary as the next person.

With his hat pulled low, as usual, he gets into his car.  There’s only about fifteen feet between the door to his place and the door to his car, and in the three seconds it took for him to make that walk the beauty of the day was upon him, infiltrating his mood. 

Having already missed his first class from the alarm sounding at the wrong time, he arrived at school in time to make his second.  Leaving the second class around 10 o’clock only meant the sun was higher, the Beauty becoming greater. 

On his way back to his car he is reminded suddenly of the gift that it is.

“God is good”

On his way home he thinks of the failures he has endured in the previous two months.  They don’t compare to the greatness of the way today is turning out.  It’s the prettiest day of the year thus far.  He thanks his friend for reminding him of that.

In his office he is sent home early, left with anticipation for the work ahead of him.

He calls his girl and receives no answer.  It bothers him for only a moment.  She is a busy woman, after all.  He thinks about her for quite a while after this and decides she is worth waiting for, at least for now.

Darkness arrives and brings a storm.  The wind is strong and the rain is loud and he is reminded of how he sleeps better when its storming outside.

Before giving up on his homework for the day he thinks about quite a few things, primarily his friends and his relationships.  God hasn’t been a focus of his lately and he regrets it.  Things will change soon.

God is working very feverishly within him.  He can tell.  It’s a struggle to understand the details of it all.

Before calling it a night he wrote this.

Then he realized how much love is surrounding him.  All the time.  He is grateful.

This was an experiment.