I Long To Know This World

There’s something about a girl in worn out jeans and a pension truth without philosophy that’s unimaginably intriguing.  She wants to be a writer.  She wears worn down clothes.  She doesn’t do her hair.  She claims she is “in love” with a guy she has never kissed.  She is a wreck.  Somehow she still knows more than me.

I heard what I believe to be the greatest and most optimistic view of my life thus far.  It’s even a bit pessimistic depending on how you look at it.  But I refuse to stear that direction…

Everything we do and who we are is progress.

I can’t help but feel incredibly vulnerable when I think about it. 

Every step I take in the right direction
Every achievement
Every failure
Every time I break a girl’s heart by being an idiot
Every time a girl breaks me heart for whatever reason
Every time I write a song
Every time I sing or play a note on an instrument
Every time I skip a class
Every time I find myself asking my parents for more money
Every time I recieve a phone call
Every time I wake up in the morning
It’s all just progress

It’s really the most beautiful thing.  History repeats itself SOMETIMES.  Progress wouldn’t allow it to repeat itself continuously.

I want to be something one day.  Everything I do, whether I’m taking steps toward or backward from my ultimate goal, is progress nonetheless.  When I’ve reached my goal, I will reach for more.  It’s like a great addiction, or a “gateway drug” (whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean).  One accomplished goal leads to another.  One addiction leads to another.  One desire leads to another.  One moment of happiness leads to more.

I bet if you ask the most accomplished and respected people of our time their ultimate aspirations have not been met yet.  We want to be known for something legendary and timeless.  Something positive.  I have ideas but no knowledge of how to become what i want.  I want to be a writer.  I want to be a great musician.  I want to be known most importantly for my love of Christ and my relationship with him.  I want to be heard and I want people to listen.  Intently.  That’s ultimately why I’m here.